Letter to my ex mother in law

I think that is the thing with super women. We just assume that they know how extraordinary their super powers are that we forget to voice them out loud. I think it is beyond time that I expressed my gratitude out loud for the way you love out loud. You love my children. You say yes to them and dedicate whole days to the word yes. They know Yia-Yia is synonymous with laughter and play and swinging and all that is important in childhood.

Luke Combs - When It Rains It Pours

And adulthood. Whenever I am in doubt about the right decision of how to handle a situation with my kids I usually ask myself What Would Yia-Yia do? And that always finds a way to bring me to the right path; the happier path; the path of yes.

You love me. You love me like I was one of your own children which makes me feel like one of the luckiest girls in the world. You have been a therapist, a friend and a mother.

You give the best gifts from shoes to clothes to Anthropologie happiness. I know love has nothing to do with the material but I am astonished by the thought behind each and every thing. I myself am stitched together by flaws laced in hopeful intentions but you never point them out. You never make me feel like not enough but instead like I am a light and I am not alone.

You have an understated way of making everyone feel like they have gifts in this world that need to be shined for all to see. That in itself is a gift of yours. You are a brilliant, bountiful and beautiful chef.

You make the type of food that people yearn to be in your kitchen. And when they do they will not leave empty handed. I have not left your kitchen without at least 3 tupperware containers of your delicious food in the last 15 years.

He is of course both of ours, for better or worse and I still call dibs on you should we ever get a divorce but when we got married, you handed him to me with grace. You handed him to me with hope. He will always be one of the best people I will ever meet in this world and that is to your credit.

He is a strong man and he was raised by a strong woman. I am in awe of the tenacity in those genes and am grateful that blood that thick is coarsing through my children. And there is you. Resilience personified. You take nothing lying down and you take it with a smile. You find humor in what others would hide from. You bring laughter with a side of spanakopita. Dirty jokes with wine. Strength with spirit. You do not let things break you.

You overcome.My ex-mother-in-law and I had a terrible relationship. It was the cause of many fights between my ex-husband and I and created great stress. I'm not here to write about those old stressors or air any dirty laundry. It was difficult to go through and hurt me that my MIL did not like me, but I made my mistakes too, and that time is over.

When my ex and I separated, and he went back to his parents to stay for a while, I worried that my relationship with her would be worse than it was before. I fretted about how much his parents must hate me since we were splitting up. I figured there would be comments left and right about me, the terrible mother and person. How could this go well? Sure, there were a few rough moments in the beginning and we don't always agree on stuff, but what happened after that was beyond what I could have hoped for.

They say that who shows up during the roughest times in your life are the ones you can truly count on. I thought it would be other people in my life coming to my side to cheer me on, but those people haven't showed up yet. I never imagined in a million years that one of the people who would step up to the plate would be my ex-MIL.

When my ex and I divided our daughter's life practically in half, I wondered who would take her to school on "my days" and pick her up? I could do before care and after care, but that would add up, and since I'm a mom who has just returned to the workforce, it would be a tough expense. My ex-in laws stepped up to help me. It was for the greater good -- for our child's good they said. Never once do I hear a complaint. Never once am I told this is an inconvenience. When we decided to put our daughter in play therapy -- but I realized that my job is incredibly far from her therapist and her school -- my ex-in laws agreed to meet me and my daughter at her therapist after the sessions are over so they can bring her back south to school and I can head north to work.

Never once did they say, "Figure it out," or "So what? So you're already coming into work late at Make it Too bad, lady. The other day my ex told me that in order to avoid ruining his credit completely, he would have to sign over the deed on the marital house -- where I'm living -- to the bank.

I understood. First, I'm not on the mortgage and don't feel the pain of a foreclosure or missed mortgage payments. Secondly, while this isn't optimal for him, a foreclosure would be worse and I believe in the school of thought that says both parties in a divorce need to move on and thrive. I want both of us to be okay. I do not wish for my ex's demise. I want him to be happy -- that's my daughter's father!

But when I heard I had 73 days to leave the house, I cried. I just started a job eight months ago. I started a second job seven months ago.Places of Interest: Unique Wedding Invitations for wedding needs. Fax Machines and Color Copiers found here. Baby Names can be hard to pick. Finally - Clean, hygenic toilet seats covers.

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letter to my ex mother in law

Vampires are people too. A Mortgage Calculator for those refinancing. Write Poetry here. Try this Stock Market quiz. Teaching is a noble job. Everyone loves Pets. Information on Tax Refunds. Wiggly is a worm. View Portfolio. Visit Notebook. Send Gift Points. Send Email. Get Started. Com Need Help?I have started this letter many times, but have never sent it. My reasons? Well, for a start I want you to understand how things have come about. But, I doubt you will, because your feelings and perspectives are so blinkered in a certain direction.

Then I think to myself that at least if I write everything in a letter, you can read it, and re-read it, and maybe, just maybe, it will sink in. God I hope so, because you do need to understand, very much so. Knowing where to start is also difficult. So much has happened. Too much. I don't feel it necessary to go into my own personal reasons for cutting my contact with you, so I shall just concentrate on your son, and what has happened to him.

I hope that you both realise, by now, that your son and his ex are never going to have any sort of friendly relationship. It's just not going to happen, ever. Not because of me, far from it, I actually would like them to have some sort of friendship, for the sake of their daughter. It certainly makes things a whole lot easier if parents can get on, especially for the child.

letter to my ex mother in law

As far as his family is concerned, well they're his family. End of. I would NEVER put myself in a position where I might be invited to their family occasions, simply because it's just not appropriate. I have no place there now. I see his mum she works in the Red Cross Shopand I speak to her of course, but that's it. That's normal. For the most part, over the years, we have accepted that your relationship with her goes beyond what most people consider to be appropriate and normal.

letter to my ex mother in law

Yes, it's been hard to accept that, especially for your son, but we have accepted it. As it stands.

A Thank You to the Ex-Mother-in-Law Who Didn't Like Me

But, it's gone beyond that hasn't it, into the realms of being incredibly hurtful and insensitive. You have never listened to, or heeded his numerous requests to stop talking about her or involving her so intensely in your lives and putting her in HIS place. As you read these last few lines, you will be thinking differently, I know that, but this is why I'm writing, so you can read how it affects your son. Not you, or her.

You are well aware of their past. Of their relationship and how awful it was. You are well aware of all the awful problems since their separation, of the worries over your granddaughter's welfare, all of it. You have at times tried to push them together, and at other times kept them apart. You know how volatile, aggressive, hostile and difficult she is.

Yet, you seem to ignore all of that and something clouds your judgement. I cannot tell you how to feel about her, of course not, but I can tell you how your son feels, and how your behaviour has affected him. This year was probably the worst so far. And not from anything I, or her father, had done. I can tell you categorically, right now, that I have NEVER, not even once, said anything detrimental about you to her, and she knows that.There are affiliate links in this article which means, at no additional cost to you, we could receive compensation for our recommendations.

Celebrate your mother-in-law. The women who often are overlooked on these special days are the ones we should thank or blame for everything we hold dear in our own lives: our very own mother-in-law. Without her selfless sacrifice of raising our beloved husbands, we would not be initiated into the sacred circle of motherhood.

To this woman we owe the world, or at least so it seems. I reached out to my Facebook followers to hear what they are grateful to their mother-in-law for. The response was overwhelming. I decided to make my favorite replies into greeting card sentiments. This post was updated in December to provide you with the best greetings for your mother-in-law.

These sweet sentiments are meant to be personalized to fit your family and mother-in-law. Have you ever wondered what it takes to be a better daughter-in-law?

Click on the image above or complete the form below to get access to our beautiful collection of printable mother-in-law cards. Use the following at your own risk discretion:. It is my sincere hope that this list will help start a dialog between you and your mother-in-law.

Perhaps one that can heal old wounds, remove bunions, recover lost wages and bring peace to the world — or at a minimum ensure that your Thanksgiving Day meals are less painful.

Regardless of your relationship with your mother-in-law, remember that it is the bond between you and your husband that matters the most. If you have read this far and if you are my mother-in-law: Thank you for SO many things — the biggest one being your son! There is something for every type of relationship. You WILL find something for her in here! I promise! Your email address will not be published.

By using this form you agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Thank you!My ex-mother-in-law and I had a terrible relationship. It was the cause of many fights between my ex-husband and I and created great stress. I'm not here to write about those old stressors or air any dirty laundry.

It was difficult to go through and hurt me that my MIL did not like me, but I made my mistakes too, and that time is over. When my ex and I separated, and he went back to his parents to stay for a while, I worried that my relationship with her would be worse than it was before. I fretted about how much his parents must hate me since we were splitting up. I figured there would be comments left and right about me, the terrible mother and person.

How could this go well? Sure, there were a few rough moments in the beginning and we don't always agree on stuff, but what happened after that was beyond what I could have hoped for.

They say that who shows up during the roughest times in your life are the ones you can truly count on. I thought it would be other people in my life coming to my side to cheer me on, but those people haven't showed up yet. I never imagined in a million years that one of the people who would step up to the plate would be my ex-MIL.

When my ex and I divided our daughter's life practically in half, I wondered who would take her to school on "my days" and pick her up? I could do before care and after care, but that would add up, and since I'm a mom who has just returned to the workforce, it would be a tough expense. My ex-in laws stepped up to help me. It was for the greater good -- for our child's good they said. Never once do I hear a complaint.

Never once am I told this is an inconvenience.

letter to my ex mother in law

When we decided to put our daughter in play therapy -- but I realized that my job is incredibly far from her therapist and her school -- my ex-in laws agreed to meet me and my daughter at her therapist after the sessions are over so they can bring her back south to school and I can head north to work. Never once did they say, "Figure it out," or "So what? So you're already coming into work late at Make it Too bad, lady.

An Open Letter To My Mother-In-Law

The other day my ex told me that in order to avoid ruining his credit completely, he would have to sign over the deed on the marital house -- where I'm living -- to the bank. I understood. First, I'm not on the mortgage and don't feel the pain of a foreclosure or missed mortgage payments.

Secondly, while this isn't optimal for him, a foreclosure would be worse and I believe in the school of thought that says both parties in a divorce need to move on and thrive. I want both of us to be okay. I do not wish for my ex's demise.

I want him to be happy -- that's my daughter's father! But when I heard I had 73 days to leave the house, I cried. I just started a job eight months ago. I started a second job seven months ago. I am not financially on my feet and this puts me in a very bad position, but unfortunately, even if we aren't ready for life, life is always ready for us. One evening I asked my in-laws to watch my daughter after school instead of aftercare so I could look for homes.

Did they complain? When I came to pick up my daughter, my ex-MIL could see the stress on my face. Just one day before this, I had sent my ex-in laws a card and in it I said how much I appreciated them, their efforts as grandparents and that their support makes all of our lives, especially our daughter's, easier.

A Letter To My Ex's Parents

I hadn't heard yet if they had received the card and so I was anxious. Not to mention I was overwhelmed.I met you when I was Your son, your baby boy, brought me home one summer to meet his family. You welcomed me in as one of your own and I adored you. I had never met anyone quite like you before.

No hidden emotions, just spilling-over love for your family and an amazing passion and energy for life. You were diagnosed with cancer the year after I met you. Your determination to beat it and your ability to embrace life, despite hideous treatment, astounded me.

You lived so many years beyond your life expectancy and were so strong to the very end. You left us one October night, with your beloved husband and three children by your side.

And then life fell apart. The previous day, we had a brief few minutes alone. Despite your fragility, you still managed to roar with laughter at Antiques Roadshow. Obviously knowing the end was in sight, you held me and talked of your baby boy. You told me you knew he would be OK because I would always be there to look after him. We broke up three months later, and the weight of your words laid heavy on my heart for a long time.

Perhaps my bond with you during your illness kept your boy and I together far longer than we should have been. Perhaps grief broke us apart. He is now married to a wonderful woman who totally gets him and his crazy and endearing ways. They have a beautiful baby too. Your absence, I imagine, is felt more than ever. Some people go through their whole life without meeting that influential person who will change the way they think about love and life.

I feel so lucky to have loved and been loved by such a person. My time with you taught me not only to embrace life, but also how to be a wife and a mother.


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